Sunday, December 29, 2013

Spaghetti Aglio e Olio e Lobstero

My local grocery store had frozen lobsters on special for really cheap. It sat in my freezer for a really long time until I thought maybe it would go great with Spaghetti Aglio e Olio. Turns out that it really does. It tastes even better after work and you have free time because you decided to skip going to the gym or usually work the evenings that day at your second job but NOT THIS TIME!

Ingredients:

1 Frozen Manager's special frozen Lobster thats been sitting in your freezer for a really long time
4 - 67 cloves of garlic. I usually use anywhere between 5 - 7 cloves depending on clove size
1 tbsp chilli flakes (or less or more. I usually go with a newborn's fistful)
Spaghetti
Olive Oil
Some Italian sausage (optional and delicious)
Broccoli (optional and nutritious)
1 Time Travelling Device (optional and absolutely necessary)



Step 1: Place all ingredients into Time Travelling Device.


Step 2: Enjoy with some butter melting under a romantic candle lit for one. And some wine. Some lots of wine. If you do not have a Time Travelling Device, you should scold yourself for not having one, and then proceed to Step 3... or go back to Step 1? Or wait, what?

Step wrinkle in time: Chop the things that need chopping, boil the things that need boiling for the amount of time it needs to be boiled. Use a blunt object to get to the meat. If your landlord asks you what that loud banging noise is, it means you're doing it right. Throw some olive oil into skillet, heat up flakes and garlics and other things in a very specific order and with specific heat settings and maybe a dash of white wine somewhere in there but I forgot to take pictures and I don't feel like doing this anymore. Why the f*ck don't you have a Time Travelling Device? What the hell is wrong with you??!

Playlist:
Mambo Italiano by Rosemary Clooney
Rock Lobster by The B-52s
Con te PartirĂ² by Andrea Bocelli and Sarah Brightman
Iraq Lobster by Peter Griffin








Friday, January 4, 2013

Instant Noodles

You will need:

1 cup of noodles (today we are using Pork Chowder)
boiling water
a small appetite
chopsticks


I am showing you the Original Method listed on the top 
If given the choice of a flavour packet, i suggest using 3/4 of the powder to reduce the saltiness
Fill with boiling water up to that line if you like following the rules.

Steep for 3 minutes. You can listen to a song thats about 3 minutes if you dont have a timer.


Stir and Serve. MMMMMMMM so cheap and delicious.


Playlist:

Starry Heavens